My favourite magazine – well, currently the only one I subscribe to, anyway – is New Scientist. It doesn’t have long articles instructing you on how to get your tummy flatter, your make-up more airbrushed or your sex exploits more athletic. I like it anyway.
Recently, New Scientist ran a competition to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. The competition invited readers to imagine something Armstrong might have said instead of the much-quoted “That’s one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind.” The prize was a piece of the moon.
The winner was Richard Hambly from Potts Point, New South Wales, Australia, with this entry:
• Hi Yuri, can we just keep this between the two of us?
From the runners-up, though, I particularly loved these:
• [Annoying ring tone] HELLO… I’m on the moon… no, its rubbish (David Mountford)
• I feel so small… I need a hug (Robert)
• I’m wearing my wife’s knickers (Tom)
• In forty years they’ll be giving this stuff away in magazines (Adrian Bowyer)
• Just pretend I said something witty and incisive and let’s get out of here (Fionn Pooler)
• One small step for man – one giant leap for conspiracy theorists (Jeremy Drew)
• That’s… [crunch]… oops! Sorry for squashing you, little fella (Richard Tucker)
• That’s one small step, a giant leap, a kick and clap, and turn on five (Duncan McKenzie)
(You can find an article with interesting insights on the themes of the 550 entries received here.)