If you’re vegetarian

So this weekend I was at the gorgeous wedding of a close friend. It was a warm and wonderful gathering, and I was honoured to be the MC. I was also completely unprepared. This was ok… as an improvisor I sometimes like being unprepared. Then again, perhaps I should say ex-improvisor, given that I haven’t been anywhere near any improv for about 2 years… oh well. Aren’t we all making up as we go along?

So I’d chatted to my lovely bride friend and we’d mused over what I was supposed to say (“There’s something they’ve put on the order of events called housekeeping,” she said, “Do you know what that is?” “I think they mean where the toilets are,” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll find out.”) So while the other guests were nibbling on canapés and sipping champagne between the ceremony and The Rest of Things, I went up to the venue and nosed around, and sure enough, there was a somebody who was fluttering about organising things, and told me what to say about what, so I thought I had it fairly organised.

The cool thing about being an MC is you get a microphone. FOR THE WHOLE EVENING. So I could just turn it on and tell people stuff. I was a bit self-conscious about this, as I thought perhaps people wouldn’t want to microphone-announced all the time, but it seemed to go fairly well. I was pretty much through directions to the loos, and where to smoke, and where to put the wedding gifts, when I turned to Lovely Bride Friend and said, “Have I forgotten anything?”

“Vegetarians!” she said.

“Vegetarians!” I exclaimed, and turned back to the roomful of expectant guests. “Yes! If you’re vegetarian, um…” I thought for a second.

What was I supposed to tell the vegetarians again, that they didn’t already know?

“Right,” I merrily improvised. “If you’re vegetarian, tell someone!”

This seemed to me very logical. I used to be vegetarian – for a long time. Generally, if you find a waiter or someone, and tell them, they’ll eventually bring you something usefully meat-free (frequently a Greek salad, but still, if you’re vegetarian, that’s a lot better than a steak). Anyway, that’s the thing about improv. You never know what the audience is going to find funny. Apparently “If you’re vegetarian… tell someone!” was the pinnacle of my MC moment. Who knew. Anyway, lest it be thought that I was dissing vegetarians, let it be known that I was vegetarian (well, pescetarian, really) for about 15 years, and vegan for one of those years. So, in honour of the vegetarians (and pescetarians) I’ll be posting some nice vegetarian recipes for a change. Starting with this cool thing I’ve been making for lunch (and sometimes also even for breakfast):

Vaguely mexican tortilla sandwich

This isn’t even a recipe. It’s a thing that you make up when you have no bread in the house. Because tortilla wraps you can keep in the freezer for just about ever. So if you have some of those and some cheddar, you can basically augment those with other ingredients to make yourself the most impressive breakfast ever.

This makes 1 sandwich, for 1 person. A hungry person may want more.

1 tortilla wrap (from the freezer or not)

some grated white cheddar cheese

1 ripe avocado

half a lemon

salt and pepper

optional additions: fresh coriander, chopped tomato, some jalapeno chilli, some lettuce or rocket or watercress leaves

Mash up the avocado with lemon juice, salt and pepper. The more other things you add to it – coriander, chilli, tomato – the more mexican you will go. You could even go the route of cottage cheese or sour cream if you’re feeling well supplied and over the top Tex-Mex about this.

Put the wrap in a dry frying pan over medium heat. Turn it over a few times and let it warm up. When it’s at least defrosted on one side, turn that side up and sprinkle some cheese on to melt.

Lay the mashed up avocado over it on one side, just to warm up, not to cook, and fold over the wrap. Just before you fold it over, you can put the leaves on for extra green, if you’re so inclined. Cut it into wedges.

Instant breakfast/brunch/lunch. If you’re vegetarian… you can eat this!IMG_0313


About Lisa

I live in South Africa with my husband and two small children, doing things, thinking about things and sometimes writing about them.
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